5 Common Signs Youre Being Condescending at Work - The Muse

5 Common Signs Youre Being Condescending at Work - The Muse5 Common Signs Youre Being Condescending at WorkLets talk about those colleagues. Do you know the type Im talking about? The ones who have a knack for climbing up on their high horses while making you feel oh-so-small and unimportant?Nobody likes that condescending gruppe member. But, take a minute to think about this What if youre coming off as that patronizing person in your office? Even worse, what if- gasp- you dont even realize youre doing it?Im not big into scare tactics, but heres the reality Were all only human, which means its easy to slide into some arrogant and superior habits every now and then. Here are five signs thats the case1. You Arent Choosing Your Words CarefullyThere are two words that have a way of sneaking into our vocabulary and kicking everyone around us down a couple of pegs. What are they? Actually and just.Think about the last time you uttered a sentence like one of unterstellung in the officeI act ually think thats a good idea.You just need to do it this way.Inserting these words into your sentences immediately makes you sound condescending. Actually indicates surprise- as if the fact that your colleague made a decent suggestion managed to knock you back in your chair. And, just implies simplicity- as if your co-worker is a total moron for not coming to that solution on his own.2. Youre Always Putting Yourself FirstYour boss explicitly approved your request for a long lunch. So, even though you know the rest of your team is scrambling to finish up a shared project, youre still heading out and taking that lengthy break you believe youre entitled to. You give your colleagues a wave and a brief smile as you breeze past that crowded conference room and out the office door. Yes, sometimes in your career you need to put yourself first- and, hey, you deserve a break However, theres a fine line between managing your own needs and treating your colleagues like doormats.Nobodys saying you need to transform into an office martyr. But, theres also nothing wrong with lending a helping hand or stepping up in a crisis every now and then. 3. Youre the Master of Backhanded ComplimentsYou might think youre always showering your co-workers in praise. However, its worth some reflection to make sure you arent dishing out too many backhanded compliments.What do these look like? Here are two classic examples This presentation turned out way better than your last one.I could tell you didnt have a ton of time, but that project still looked good.Your intentions to offer a commendation are pure. But, youre going about it all wrong. When doling out a compliment, stay focused on the positive- anything else can make you come off as snide or even snobbish. 4. Youre Always Equating Your ExperiencesWhen a colleague vents to you about a frustration or a problem, you think the best way to be supportive is to talk about your own experience that you deem similar. But, guess what? Your co-w orker whos stressing about that report that was just annihilated by your boss likely wont be comforted by the fact that the cafeteria screwed up your sandwich that day.While demonstrating empathy is one thing, attempting to equate your own experiences- particularly when they arent at all relevant to your colleagues situation- will always come off as condescending.On the flipside of that coin, responding to your team member with a relieved, Im so glad Ive never had to deal with that or Thats never happened to me isnt helpful either.Instead, focus on actively listening and offering help in any way that you can. Thats really all your co-worker needs. 5. Youre a Conversational SteamrollerYou pride yourself on your ability to maintain a lively discussion with anyone in your office. But, ask yourself this Is it really a discussion, or are you carrying the bulk of that exchange? Are you giving your colleague adequate space and time to speak?By not letting other people chime in- whether its in a team meeting or even in a one-on-one conversation- being a conversational steamroller sends the message that you deem whatever you have to say as far more important.Theres really nothing more demeaning than that. So, the next time youre chatting with a colleague, make a conscious effort to listen just as much as you speak. Nobody likes a conversation hog. Nobody wants to be condescending to their co-workers. But, unfortunately, it has a way of happening without you even realizing it. Keep your eyes peeled for these five symptoms, and youre sure to decrease your likelihood of inspiring groans from your team members. And, when in doubt? Offer to pay for a round of drinks at happy hour- that alone can go a long way.